You're not sure which sucks more: your mountain biking or your social skills. The Gnar Couch jersey lets everyone around you know both are awful.

This beautiful jersey, made on the North Shore (of China), is lightweight like your penis, extremely breathable like assless chaps, and a true sign of degeneracy. Despite this, it's resistant to tears, unless you eat absolute shit, which you eventually will. It's cheap though, so just buy another one.

• So breathable you'll want to take your pants off to even things out
• White, so blood (and other) stains are more visible
• Won't chafe your nipples, even if you wear it for days in a row
• Cool Gnar Couch logo
• Helps identify other Gnar Couch fans so you can get super high, drunk, and do sexual things later

* Additional shipping charges will be applied to international orders. A Gnar Couch staff member will contact all international customers to ensure delivery.