GNARTICLES
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408Bernie Sanders Wears Wrong Gloves to the Bike Park
BURNET, TX—Former presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders was spotted at Spider Mountain Bike Park Friday visibly upset after realizing he wore the wrong...
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567
XC Rider Tells Paraplegic on EBike to “Earn Your Turns”
Brown County, IN—A Brown County, Indiana man who is paralyzed from the waist down was stunned this week when a cross-country rider...
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847
Proud DINK Bike Dads Post Back to School Photos of Bikes
DRAPER, UT—As pumpkin-spice mothers across the country post photos of their children smiling from the front porch on their first day of...
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2.2K
Despite Photo Evidence, Virtue Signaling Salt Lake City Man Denies Meth Head Stole his Bike
SALT LAKE CITY—A Salt Lake City man who often criticizes others for profiling when they post photos of meth heads on stolen...
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3.8K
“$5 a Month for Strava is too Expensive,” Says Guy with $60,000 Sprinter Van and $11,000 Bike
BOZEMAN, MT—A surly Bozeman adventurer is among those refusing to pay $5 a month to access popular Strava features, calling the app’s...
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3.6K
Road Biker Mistakes Eating Disorder for Performance Diet
BURLINGTON, IA—A Burlington road biker convinced he’s on a performance diet that includes chewing food and spitting it out to manage his...
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2.9K
Scientists: Kyle is Punching Drywall in Search for Lost Fox Hat
FAYETTEVILLE, AR—A team of University of Arkansas scientists say they’ve finally discovered why Kyle has been punching holes in drywall. “It appears...
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1.8K
Improved Trail Etiquette During Pandemic Upsetting Facebook Dicks
KAYSVILLE, UT—A Kaysville, Utah man and dozens of others across the country are upset they can’t make negative Facebook posts after uneventful...
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2.9K
Mountain Bikers Shaving Weight by Riding Barefoot
MONTEREY, CA—Clipless pedals are out. Flats are in. In a trend sweeping the mountain bike world, riders of all disciplines are going...
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