GNARTICLES
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317New Mountain Bike Makes Castrations Fun Again
Applewhite Bikes has announced the release of its newest model, the Sever, which will hit bike shops and be available online just...
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234
Gnarhart Introduces New Denim Freeride Dungaree Jorts and Enduro Jumpsuit
VANCOUVER, WA—Mountain bikers desperately seeking attention beyond that provided by mustaches, party shirts and neon sunglasses have a new option thanks to...
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595
Bernie Sanders Wears Wrong Gloves to the Bike Park
BURNET, TX—Former presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders was spotted at Spider Mountain Bike Park Friday visibly upset after realizing he wore the wrong...
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636
XC Rider Tells Paraplegic on EBike to “Earn Your Turns”
Brown County, IN—A Brown County, Indiana man who is paralyzed from the waist down was stunned this week when a cross-country rider...
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929
Proud DINK Bike Dads Post Back to School Photos of Bikes
DRAPER, UT—As pumpkin-spice mothers across the country post photos of their children smiling from the front porch on their first day of...
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2.3K
Despite Photo Evidence, Virtue Signaling Salt Lake City Man Denies Meth Head Stole his Bike
SALT LAKE CITY—A Salt Lake City man who often criticizes others for profiling when they post photos of meth heads on stolen...
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3.9K
“$5 a Month for Strava is too Expensive,” Says Guy with $60,000 Sprinter Van and $11,000 Bike
BOZEMAN, MT—A surly Bozeman adventurer is among those refusing to pay $5 a month to access popular Strava features, calling the app’s...
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3.7K
Road Biker Mistakes Eating Disorder for Performance Diet
BURLINGTON, IA—A Burlington road biker convinced he’s on a performance diet that includes chewing food and spitting it out to manage his...
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3.0K
Scientists: Kyle is Punching Drywall in Search for Lost Fox Hat
FAYETTEVILLE, AR—A team of University of Arkansas scientists say they’ve finally discovered why Kyle has been punching holes in drywall. “It appears...
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