gnarticles – Page 3

Biker has $15,000 in Spending Planned for $1,200 Stimulus Check

BOULDER, CO—A Boulder, Colorado mountain biker says he plans on purchasing about $15,000 worth of mountain bike gear with his $1,200 federal...

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GNARTICLES

CDC Asking Enduro Riders to Wear PPEs and Social Distance

WASHINGTON, DC—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is requesting all enduro racers wear 3M 6000 full-face respirators with half-shell helmets and...

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GNARTICLES

Angry Mountain Biker Completes Grueling 24-Hour Boomer Rant

Sun Valley, ID—An infuriated Sun Valley mountain biker finished a grueling 24-hour Facebook rant Wednesday afternoon, shattering the previous records for number...

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Satan Pleased With Social Distance Group Ride

Hawk Hill, UT—Hundreds of mountain bikers amassed south of Salt Lake City last weekend to participate in the first-ever Hawk Hill social...

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GNARTICLES

After Buying Bikes, Mountain Bikers are too Poor to Hoard Toilet Paper

BELLINGHAM, WA—While the rest of the United States is hoarding toilet paper, one group of people remains unaffected—mountain bikers. Well known for...

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GNARTICLES

Jason Voorhees Recruiting MTB Camp Counselors

CRYSTAL LAKE, NJ—Crystal Lake Mountain Bike Camp will be hosting a camp counselor recruiting event and group night ride tonight at Crystal...

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GNARTICLES

Assholes Riding Wet Trails Responsible For Toilet Paper Shortage

BROWN COUNTY, IN—An increase in assholes riding wet trails—not the coronavirus—is responsible for the nation’s toilet paper shortage, according to the Syndicated...