All posts tagged "gnarticles"
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3.5KGNARTICLESAfter Buying Bikes, Mountain Bikers are too Poor to Hoard Toilet Paper
BELLINGHAM, WA—While the rest of the United States is hoarding toilet paper, one group of people remains unaffected—mountain bikers. Well known for...
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2.8KGNARTICLES
Jason Voorhees Recruiting MTB Camp Counselors
CRYSTAL LAKE, NJ—Crystal Lake Mountain Bike Camp will be hosting a camp counselor recruiting event and group night ride tonight at Crystal...
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4.2KGNARTICLES
Assholes Riding Wet Trails Responsible For Toilet Paper Shortage
BROWN COUNTY, IN—An increase in assholes riding wet trails—not the coronavirus—is responsible for the nation’s toilet paper shortage, according to the Syndicated...
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3.3K2GNARTICLES
Mountain Biker With Tree Tattoo On His Arm Breaks Arm On Tree
JACKSON, WYOMING—In an ironic twist of fate a 28-year-old Jackson mountain biker with trees tattooed on his arm broke his arm after...
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4.0KGNARTICLES
Mountain Biker Realizes IPA Tastes Like Shit
MOUNT SHASTA, CA—A Mount Shasta mountain biker was stunned Tuesday night when he realized the IPA he was drinking actually tasted like...
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8.1KGNARTICLES
Strava Announces New App Aimed At Freeriders, Dirt Jumpers
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Social fitness tracking app Strava has announced a new app aimed at an unlikely crowd—freeride mountain bikers and dirt jumpers....
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19.0KGNARTICLES
Coronavirus Traced Back To Mountain Biker’s Knee Pads
BELLINGHAM, WA—World health officials say they’ve traced the origin of the coronavirus back to a Bellingham, Washington mountain biker’s knee pads. Originally...
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3.9KGNARTICLES
Portland Mountain Biker Mistaken For Pedophile
CAMAS, WASHINGTON—Police in Camas, Washington say they originally thought they’d apprehended a pedophile on Chute mountain bike trail, but later learned it...
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5.0K2GNARTICLES
Bike Park Coming To Skinwalker Ranch
BALLARD, UTAH—Uintah County, Utah officials have announced plans to develop a bike park at Skinwalker Ranch. The 512-acre supernatural hotbed will include...
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2.8KGNARTICLES
Facebook Post Fails To Solve Muddy Trails Problem
SPRINGFIELD, IL—The Facebook admin of a Central Illinois mountain biking group was once again displeased and surprised when a post reminding people...
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