The Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes has emerged as the frontrunner for the top podium spot at Red Bull Rampage 2025 after completing the first “Indeterminate Bar Spin 2160,” a blur of dust and fur that registered 2.3 on the Richter scale and delayed a little league game three miles away.
Rampage judges, who have emphasized rotational velocity over traditional freeride criteria such as line difficulty, technical features, or surviving death chutes more each year say fans don’t want to see exposure or style. “They want to see who can turn themselves into a human blender. And in that category, Taz is untouchable,” said an anonymous judge.
Other riders are struggling to adapt. “I spent three months practicing razor-edge ridges with mandatory massive blind drops,” said one anonymous competitor. “But apparently if you don’t leave the ground spinning like a malfunctioning ceiling fan, you’re just riding trails. What’s next, Bugs Bunny shows up dressed like our girlfriends?”
Spectators are bracing for the familiar Rampage cycle: hype, disbelief, confusion, and disappointment. “Last year I thought TVS got robbed. The year before that, Bienvenido. The year before that, probably Andreu. This year I’ll just skip straight to being mad online,” said fan Carl Nolittle, while refreshing Pinkbike’s comments section on his phone.
Even Red Bull acknowledges the outrage. “We know people tune in to be mad,” said Rampage spokesperson Kelly Spinrate. “Why fight tradition?”
When asked how scores will be determined, judges revealed a new formula: rotations per minute multiplied by dust cloud density, divided by whether anyone survives the landing. Style-based riders, including those who still believe in rad-looking moto tricks, are projected to finish somewhere between “forgot to drop in” and “Jerry holding a GoPro at the bottom.”
Vegas betting lines currently favor the Tasmanian Devil at +420, followed by “Any European Rider Who Can 360 And Name Four Barspin Tricks.” Some parents have raised concerns that children may attempt to mimic Tasmanian Devil spins at home. Red Bull responded by handing out free cans of energy drink to get the parents as hyped as their kids.
The Tasmanian Devil could not be reached for comment. His camp issued only a short statement: “Whirl, whirl, spin, burp.”
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The Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes has emerged as the frontrunner for the top podium spot at Red Bull Rampage 2025 after completing the first “Indeterminate Bar Spin 2160,” a blur of dust and fur that registered 2.3 on the Richter scale and delayed a little league game three miles away.
Rampage judges, who have emphasized rotational velocity over traditional freeride criteria such as line difficulty, technical features, or surviving death chutes more each year say fans don’t want to see exposure or style. “They want to see who can turn themselves into a human blender. And in that category, Taz is untouchable,” said an anonymous judge.
Other riders are struggling to adapt. “I spent three months practicing razor-edge ridges with mandatory massive blind drops,” said one anonymous competitor. “But apparently if you don’t leave the ground spinning like a malfunctioning ceiling fan, you’re just riding trails. What’s next, Bugs Bunny shows up dressed like our girlfriends?”
Spectators are bracing for the familiar Rampage cycle: hype, disbelief, confusion, and disappointment. “Last year I thought TVS got robbed. The year before that, Bienvenido. The year before that, probably Andreu. This year I’ll just skip straight to being mad online,” said fan Carl Nolittle, while refreshing Pinkbike’s comments section on his phone.
Even Red Bull acknowledges the outrage. “We know people tune in to be mad,” said Rampage spokesperson Kelly Spinrate. “Why fight tradition?”
When asked how scores will be determined, judges revealed a new formula: rotations per minute multiplied by dust cloud density, divided by whether anyone survives the landing. Style-based riders, including those who still believe in rad-looking moto tricks, are projected to finish somewhere between “forgot to drop in” and “Jerry holding a GoPro at the bottom.”
Vegas betting lines currently favor the Tasmanian Devil at +420, followed by “Any European Rider Who Can 360 And Name Four Barspin Tricks.” Some parents have raised concerns that children may attempt to mimic Tasmanian Devil spins at home. Red Bull responded by handing out free cans of energy drink to get the parents as hyped as their kids.
The Tasmanian Devil could not be reached for comment. His camp issued only a short statement: “Whirl, whirl, spin, burp.”