Strava Announces New App Aimed At Freeriders, Dirt Jumpers

With Stravair, freeriders and dirt jumpers can act like elitist assholes too.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Social fitness tracking app Strava has announced a new app aimed at an unlikely crowd—freeride mountain bikers and dirt jumpers.

The new app, called Stravair, will track amplitude, jump distance and airtime, giving riders a tool with which to compare themselves to others while also allowing them a commensurate opportunity to act as dickish as their cross-country counterparts.

“We think everyone deserves the opportunity to subjugate all nearby trail users to their will by simply yelling Strava—or in this case Stravair,” said Strava Public Relations Coordinator Richard Hedman. “Furthermore, Stravair will let you know if you’re the shittiest rider in your area and pressure you into attempting things you have no business trying.”

Using technology similar to the Strava speed tracker, Stravair will automatically engage and track freeriders and dirt jumpers any time they leave the ground. With precise GPS measurements, it will calculate amplitude, jump distance and airtime to within a random number of feet users can post on social media and brag to their friends about. 

“We know people love sharing their ride data with others, especially if it’s wildly inaccurate in a way that socially benefits them,” said Hedman. “The only thing better than doing 20 miles per hour and hitting a 40-foot jump is saying you were doing 30 miles per hour and hitting a 60-foot jump and having data to back it up.”

The app will initially be available for iPhone users only, giving them the opportunity to be twice as elitist as Android users. A shittier Android version will follow when enough people complain.

Hedman said he hopes Stravair will fill a void in a traditionally resistant market segment whose criticisms of the original Strava app run deep.

“More than anything, we were tired of these guys making fun of us,” said Hedman. “With proper marketing, we feel we can turn any biker into a Stravasshole, regardless of their riding style.”

The Stravair app will be available on Tuesday, June 9, 2020.

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