Biker Almost Killed by Train

When I was a kid, I lived about two blocks away from some train tracks. My mom and all the other parents would always tell us to stay away from the tracks because they were dangerous.

Naturally, we ignored them.

There are some really fun things to do near the train tracks. Yeah, I know, you’re sitting there thinking, “like throw rocks at trains.” That’s amateur shit. By the time I was twelve, I was professional at train tracks shenanigans.

It all started with rocks, sure, but have you ever considered throwing fluorescent light bulbs at a train? Did you ever steal someone’s shitty bike and leave it on the train tracks? What about patio furniture? Did you ever shoot a caboose’s windows with your BB gun?

Most likely not. Neither did this guy.

You see, when you do things like this you understand the power of a train so you stay the fuck away from it, only ever getting close enough to watch it rip a shitty bike to shreds or to hit it with whatever you’re throwing at it.

So, what’s the point of all this?

Simple. Throw shit at trains. Let your kids throw shit at trains. Maybe put a plastic patio chair on some train tracks and watch it explode when the train hits it.* Doing this teaches you and them just how damn dangerous they are so you and your kids know to look the fuck out for them.

*Don’t actually do anything this post suggests. If you do, you are a dumbass.

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