GNARTICLES
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18.5KBiker has $15,000 in Spending Planned for $1,200 Stimulus Check
BOULDER, CO—A Boulder, Colorado mountain biker says he plans on purchasing about $15,000 worth of mountain bike gear with his $1,200 federal...
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9.2K
CDC Asking Enduro Riders to Wear PPEs and Social Distance
WASHINGTON, DC—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is requesting all enduro racers wear 3M 6000 full-face respirators with half-shell helmets and...
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4.0K
The Current Worst Person in the World
Before this guy stole a bike from a frontline worker during the middle of a pandemic, he had just attended a rave....
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4.3K
Angry Mountain Biker Completes Grueling 24-Hour Boomer Rant
Sun Valley, ID—An infuriated Sun Valley mountain biker finished a grueling 24-hour Facebook rant Wednesday afternoon, shattering the previous records for number...
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3.4K
Biker Almost Killed by Train
When I was a kid, I lived about two blocks away from some train tracks. My mom and all the other parents...
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3.8K2
Satan Pleased With Social Distance Group Ride
Hawk Hill, UT—Hundreds of mountain bikers amassed south of Salt Lake City last weekend to participate in the first-ever Hawk Hill social...
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3.7K
Gear Probe—$20 X-Tiger Sunglasses
New gear has to do two things for me to justify buying it. First, it has to make me look cooler. Second,...
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3.5K
After Buying Bikes, Mountain Bikers are too Poor to Hoard Toilet Paper
BELLINGHAM, WA—While the rest of the United States is hoarding toilet paper, one group of people remains unaffected—mountain bikers. Well known for...
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2.8K
Jason Voorhees Recruiting MTB Camp Counselors
CRYSTAL LAKE, NJ—Crystal Lake Mountain Bike Camp will be hosting a camp counselor recruiting event and group night ride tonight at Crystal...
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4.2K
Assholes Riding Wet Trails Responsible For Toilet Paper Shortage
BROWN COUNTY, IN—An increase in assholes riding wet trails—not the coronavirus—is responsible for the nation’s toilet paper shortage, according to the Syndicated...
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